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Fearless Memories

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My post chemotherapy Journey Pt. 1



I will start out by saying that I am so thankful to be alive and be cancer free. Without my faith in God and the wonderful doctors and nurses I would not be here today. I have decided to blog about my continued journey post therapy because, as I'm finding out, the journey isn't over. A lot of people think that once treatments are complete that the survivors fight is over. This is a large misconception. This was my own misconception, as it is for most survivors. I want to document this side of cancer survivorship in order to hopefully prepare other survivors and also help their families and friends understand them better. I will start with the emotional side of post treatment. Once I was finished I had a surge of relief and I was so thankful and still am to be finished with Chemotherapy and radiation. I very quickly started feeling like my old self and regaining energy. Another survivor warned me I might have an onset of depression post treatment, but I was certain I would not. To my surprise, she was right. About two weeks after I had of feeling of …“what now?” When you're not aggressively fighting the cancer, you feel a little helpless and more vulnerable. I had to put my faith completely in God once again and let him carry me through this. This feeling only lasted a couple of days, as I turned it all over to God. As I draw closer to God my fear goes away. The relationships I am building at my church home are a huge part of my recovery. It feels incredible to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Coming together with other believers who are passionate about Jesus is so important to me, especially in the times we are living in now. Using my god given gift of music has never been more rewarding! On the physical side of things chemotherapy and radiation really wrecked havoc on my body. Again, I will say I'm thankful that we have treatments that can now cure some cancers and I'm thankful that I'm cancer free. Now, I just have to pray that in time these side effects will go away. I'm dealing with neuropathy in my hands and feet, lymphedema in my right leg, arthritis symptoms, immediate menopause symptoms and the dreaded chemo brain( it's real). In my next blog I will go into more detail on each of these. The neuropathy came on about a month after chemotherapy was complete, continued to get worse for weeks and leveled off. I am happy to say now after three months, it is somewhat better, so I'm hoping it will continue to get better with time. I am taking a vitamin B complex to help with this. Tomorrow I have my first office appointment at a place called Internal Balance in Brentwood Tn. The owner Tamara is a bio-chemist and nutritionist who has developed a DNA testing program to detox and rebuild my body the natural way. Another ovarian cancer survivor referred me to her. For those of you that know me well, you know I'm a naturalist and prefer to help my body heal itself, whenever possible. My initial conversation with her was amazing! I really feel that God led me to her. She incorporates her strong Christian beliefs into her practice, which I appreciate greatly. On our first conversation she gave me a scripture to read out loud everyday. She told me that this is a very healing scripture. When I got off the phone with her I was praying and hoping God had led me to her for help in cleansing my body and continuing my healing process. I looked at the paper I had written the bible verse, Matthew 4:10. I opened my bible app on my iPhone and as I went to hit the search icon I happened to notice that Matthew was already open and to my shock it was open to Matthew 4:10. I started crying so hard and thanking God for this sign and for this word he had given me to fight the enemy. For me the enemy was cancer and now physical pains. This is the verse I read out loud and continue to read out loud everyday since…“Away from me Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.” The devil left him and angels came and ministered to him. I encourage anyone reading this to do the same. When we speak Gods word out loud it is so powerful! I believe this with all my heart.

07/06/2015

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in inspiration, cancer, God, Ovarian cancer, Faith, Life, Health, Lifestyle, Jesus, Christian, chemotherapy

4 comments

  • Dhriti
    Dhriti India
    Jan 3 2017 2:51 PM
    I don't even know your name at the moment but I was compelled to write something here. My mother has been detected with breast cancer and her treatment will begin very soon and I am in part denial(of it being difficult) and part fear(of how difficult it would be and what could possibly happen through it all). I have no clue as to what I'm supposed to do, even. And I've been praying so hard about she getting healthy soon and everything being handled well. I know easier said than done (and I'm just the caregiver here) and it's going to be a battle. But I want to stay strong and help her be strong too. It's going to be difficult though. Your blog here brought a tear to my eye. And it touched my soul. I think it's going to help if I show her your article here and try to embrace everything you've written into my life right now. Thank you so much. You're an angel in disguise. Lots of love (from India), Dhriti

    I don't even know your name at the moment but I was compelled to write something here. My mother has been detected with breast cancer and her treatment will begin very soon and I am in part denial(of it being difficult) and part fear(of how difficult it would be and what could possibly happen through it all). I have no clue as to what I'm supposed to do, even. And I've been praying so hard about she getting healthy soon and everything being handled well. I know easier said than done (and I'm just the caregiver here) and it's going to be a battle. But I want to stay strong and help her be strong too. It's going to be difficult though.
    Your blog here brought a tear to my eye. And it touched my soul. I think it's going to help if I show her your article here and try to embrace everything you've written into my life right now.

    Thank you so much.
    You're an angel in disguise.

    Lots of love (from India),
    Dhriti

  • Fearless Memories
    Fearless Memories
    Jan 4 2017 3:10 PM
    I am so happy my blog is helping you. I will pray for you and your Mom. I hope this info and my journey through my cancer will help her as well.

    I am so happy my blog is helping you. I will pray for you and your Mom. I hope this info and my journey through my cancer will help her as well.

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