Hello 2018 and goodbye 2017! It had its share of ups and downs for sure, but what year doesn't right? As some of you know my husband and I have been going through the adoption process for almost two years now after recovering from my Ovarian Cancer surgery and treatments. We decided that we would adopt literally the day I was told I had Ovarian Cancer in 2014. Trying to have a baby was what led us to actually finding out I had Ovarian Cancer in the first place, so you could say our yearning to become parents really did save my life. I'm so thankful for that! 
2017 had its share of good times, but it was also a year of goodbyes. My Father-n-law passed with ALS and then shortly after we had an adoption fall through. We had planned, set up the nursery and had baby showers, only to have the baby for two days, when the birth mom changed her mind. It was devastating to say the least. My husband and I mourned for quite some time.  Never going through anything like this before, I never imagined how painful it could be. Through it though, I learned that it's ok to let yourself feel anger, but not to stay in that emotion for too long. I don't like anger at all and I avoid it as much as I can. I run from it in others and inside myself, on the very rare occasion I get angry. Usually anger is the first emotion we feel when we go through a big life tragedy. Whether it's anger with the person that caused your pain or with God. What I realized is that we have to feel that emotion in order to get to the next emotion and then on to healing. Even Jesus felt anger at times when he was here on earth. He knows what human emotion feels like and yes it is hard. That is why he left us a helper and comforter. I remembered this and I prayed myself out of the anger and opened my heart to the hurt. Yes I said the hurt. One thing I've learned in this life is that if you avoid your human emotions, it will build up and fester inside and that is not healthy for you or anyone around you. It also builds a wall between you and those who love you. As hard as it is to go through hurt, you must let yourself go through it and feel it. Crying isn't for the weak, it is for the strong. Now I'm not saying to roll around in your pain and stay there. No! No! The opposite. Cry when you need to, so you can pick yourself up and move forward in strength. God made us fiercely strong in his image! We are built to be warriors, and our sword is the word of God. I'm so thankful I have my sword and so thankful I have the Holy Spirit to help me in this life. My prayer is that if you are reading this and you want a fresh start to 2018 that you will let Jesus come in your heart and take the wheel of your life. If you need a refreshing of the Holy Spirit, I pray that for you. I ask for a new refreshing all of the time. This life is hard and we need our creator to help us, because without him we are only feathers floating in the wind, landing wherever they will. Floating in the wind is not a life designed for anyone. Let God guide you to your purpose in 2018. Only the creator of life has the owners manual to our life and that's the Bible. Let's agree together today to read more of his word and seek him more in 2018. I'm believing greater things are to come for you and for me! God bless! 
Memarie